I did school drop off this morning, because I can now I’m without a job. I did it with a slightly fuzzy head, 6 mums had sat in the pub garden last night and drunk wine. It was nice.
We all have a whinge about life, pleased our kids are back at school, worried about what happens next etc, etc. They all had some ideas about what I could do next, rather than another day sat on the sofa watching Good Girls on NetFlix thinking I could get in to washing money!
We all have our issues at home and work, everyone is going through something. I don’t believe life is perfect. Sometime people share it, just to get it off their chests that can be all that’s needed sometimes. Others just keep quiet and handle it themselves, not always the best way but it can work.
I’m a bit of both really. I openly whinge about my life, when actually it’s usually pretty good. I have a massive issue with wanting everyone around me to be happy, life is easier when everyone is happy. But through the years I have realised I can’t fix everyone’s problems. I used to throw money at problems but that’s out the question these days. A good night out with ‘shots all round ‘used to work. Jumping on a plane for the weekend used to work but that’s not real life.
Real life is sometimes crap. Harder for others. People have struggles, some more than others. This doesn’t make your struggles any less important than others.
In the school car park this morning there were a few of us looking tired and slightly fuzzy – our own fault. Most of us could go home and get a coffee and chill before our day kicked in. Whatever the day consisted of. Right now it is different for everyone.
Just as I was thinking about having to apply for some jobs today and being grumpy about the tax deductions on my redundancy money, I saw a mum and her child getting in to their car.
The mum sat in the front crying, the child in the back. I didn’t know her but I really wanted to approach her to check she was ok. Luckily another mum, who does know her went over to check. “She’s going through a crap time” my friend said.
I watched as the child climbed over in to the front seat and got on her mum’s lap and I could see from a distance they were both still sobbing. It was heartbreaking.
I got in to my car, parked beside them and tried not to look. But I wanted to give her a smile, to say ‘It will be ok’ but I don’t know that it will. I don’t know what’s going on in her life. I do know the child clearly didn’t fancy school today, when mum probably could have done without an added element of what was an already crap morning.
I drove off with tears in my eyes, hoping the lady, who I wish I knew, feels better and is strong enough to deal with the ‘crap time’.
I came home and instantly cried myself. It felt better. A cry fixed me, today. I can crack on with job hunting, we’re lucky that we aren’t going to starve, we live in a nice house and if I reign in my online shopping, we will be ok.
It made me realise that life is bloody tough, for everyone, but some more than others but everyone’s worries and stresses are relevant to their life.
So, if a mate wants to whinge, scream or cry about something you think is so tiny and irrelevant to your bigger picture, just let them. You don’t always know the full picture. It’s not always a pretty one.
adaptingtoparenthood 