During this time I have had so many people have said to me “how great to spend so much time with Rocco” “What great memories he will have”
Firstly, I’m not a fan of the ‘Making Memories’ phrase especially not ‘Lockdown Memories’. For me life is about living and remembering today for what it is. Yes, of course I have a wealth of amazing memories and each month I do print off all the photos of the months adventures and pop them in an album for him ( thanks to FreePrints) but we certainly don’t just go for a walk and make memories.
Since being Furloughed I had had more time to concentrate on him and homeschooling and I will admit it has been easier, but just because I have been at home doesn’t mean to say:
1) He is engaged in any schooling
2) He gives a s**t that I am home
3) That we’re having fun every day
In fact I know my son won’t look back on these times and if he remembers them at all he won’t think “Wow those 4 months where we didn’t leave the Village, where mummy was at home a lot and daddy worked more hours than ever, were the best times ever!”
He may remember he didn’t see his friends, he didn’t get to hold hands with anyone other than me or his dad, he didn’t get to paddle in the sea at the caravan, he didn’t get to sit at an airport and watch planes, he didn’t have his garden full of people that loved him.
He may remember Mummy cleaned the house herself, mummy stressed over getting a food delivery slot as she didn’t want to take me to a supermarket, where she got bored of cooking, where she really didn’t want to play another game of cars with me and she got really grumpy when I didn’t want to do any more Maths.
He won’t remember mummy learning a new skill or getting fit or learning to bake (we tried and failed). She didn’t watch loads of Box Sets or read loads of books. I’ve done none of that.
I don’t want him to remember I got excited the day he went back to school because I was alone for the first time in 13 weeks.
He will remember he got a hand me down DS and played FIFA more than mummy ever wanted. He may remember we have eaten together more, that him and dad have become pro wrestlers and that Rocco is pretty good in goal.
He is so laid back about stuff we used to do and places we used to go, it takes a lot to impress him (no idea where he gets that from!) and it rarely stays in his current memory. So I hope he doesn’t remember this time.
As as family we have lots of adventures. We jump in the car and go camping, the caravan, a picnic by the lake, leave the country, have sleep overs with my sis and niece, we do fun stuff, a lot. It doesn’t always have to cost money, on many occasion as a child we followed hot air balloons in the car and go hunting for an ice cream van on a sunny day.
We’ve not done that. We’ve not had adventures. We are lucky enough to have a great garden and live in a reasonable sized village by the canal so short walks and scooter rides have happened. But Rocco has been anxious about getting too close to people, he doesn’t want to see his mates out and about and not hug them, so he has preferred the comfort of his garden and I haven’t pushed it.
This time, for us, hasn’t been about ‘making memories’ it’s been about surviving, getting through it, not getting sick, checking on mates and family, missing not booking a holiday, missing our family and friends, missing having my garden full of loved ones every weekend for too much food and drink ( I’ve been doing that just alone!)
So when my Time Hop pops up next year it won’t be those long status’ that say on this day people queued for the supermarket, 3000 people died, We couldn’t leave our house etc etc.
Yes I understand it’s history and our kids will learn about it but it certainly isn’t about making this a memory for us. It’s about getting on it daily life and trying to find some normality in a crazy world.
So today I am picking the boy up from his 2nd of 2 days at school and taking him to find the ice cream man. It won’t be a memory or an adventure it’s just something we do to get through another day.
One thing I will remember is how I got the best tan without leaving the country. That’s my lockdown memory!
adaptingtoparenthood 