All cried out..

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When I was in my twenties I could live on 4-5 hours sleep if it included a few really good nights out, some vodka and a guaranteed lie in and Sunday roast at the end of it. Now in my forties it seems that the only similarity is the living on 4-5 hours sleep!

The little man has always been a good sleeper, when he came home from NICU he didn’t like it too quiet so we went about our evenings as normal and that’s the way its been. He has self settled after milk and a story and slept through. Teething gave us a blip but other than that we’ve been lucky. I’ve not been too ‘in your face’ about it and thank goodness I haven’t because it’s all changed.

I’m glad to say my son has our determination and staying power but he’s chosen to show it by screaming in the middle of the night. He practices all the great words he knows will pull at my heart – Mummy, Daddy, Cuddle, Out, Milk, Nappy. We have tried to stay strong and let him cry it out, whilst I have led in bed watching the baby monitor through my tears but last night hit all time low.

1.23am  Awake, screaming, tears, words. I whizzed in to pop his dummy back in, cover him up and pop on the lullaby sound track, along with a little ‘good boy, night, night’

2.33am He is still screaming out, he’s attempted to get out of the cot, he’s thrown out one of dummies, infact everything in the cot. In-between the crying he hears the music and stops and I hear him yawning whilst I’m led in bed willing us all to go back to sleep.

2.45am I know Mr S has gone in to his room because it’s silent. I don’t know how long he was in there with him because I went back to sleep. I praise our strength it would be easier to take him into our bed, we’ve never done it and I don’t want to start now.

Mr S and I have been going to bed (asleep) at 9pm after we’ve put the baby down, eaten and cleared up – that’s our evening, because we know what’s to come.

I believe the almost 2 yr old is pushing us to our limits but how long can we do this? I am exhausted, I try and catch a few hours sleep when he’s at nursery two days but I have chores and work to do, plus the guilt factor kicks in as Mr S is at work and he’s as tired as I am.

I’ve had lots of advice and right now I’m taking it all on board, change the bed time routine a bit, feed him before bed (he has milk but maybe porridge), wrap him up, do NOT enter the room at all.

Maybe the advice should have been not to have a baby at 44!



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